as usual, i learned something about myself today.
i actually already knew this, but as with most things, i had forgotten and re-learned it when it actually came up again.
investing in a person adds to stress and frustration that is not present pre-investment.
here is the basic formula:
1. what do i mean by investing or investment?
* to invest in a person is to put in time, emotional or financial resources (financial could be paying for dinner/movie to paying for a European vacation).
2. investment leads to having expectations and/or desiring particular outcomes.
3. desiring particular outcomes or having expectations leads to frustration and dissatisfaction.
is this true? does investing in someone/thing always result in expectations thus dissatisfaction?
if so, how do you have a meaningful relationship or connection with someone if you are unwilling or unable to make an investment?
to avoid dissatisfaction must i avoid investment? and if i avoid investment am i essentially giving in to a fear of attachment or a fear of dissatisfaction?
a willingness to invest indicates to another person that they are valued in some way and can also indicate to another person that it is also appropriate for them to invest, if they would like.
if i am unwilling to invest what does this say about me, my maturity and my potential experiences? is investment required for a deeper sense of connection?
and is it possible to invest in someone without expectations or becoming attached to an outcome? or does the lack of attachment to an outcome indicate that there is no true investment?
all i know is that until i made the investment, i had little attachment to the outcome. as soon as i made the investment i became frustrated, wanted more information, and all of a sudden the outcome became very important to me.
i started to think: if the outcome is success, i have made a good investment. if the outcome is not success, it means my investment was wasted and i may feel rather foolish.
however, i do believe that we must be able to invest, experience meaningful connection, and somehow not develop expectations or desire a particular outcome.
how can i change all of this into something positive that releases me from this cycle of expectations and dissatisfaction?
i now choose to see my investment as an act of nurturance and loving kindness. my choice to support another spirit in their journey was an act free from all expectations and attachments to outcome, and i choose it to remain as such.
i know that it was pure love that led me to share myself with this person, and i honor that choice as perfect as i release all attachment.
i choose to change how i think about investing.
i choose to let go of my attachment to outcome and my expectations. i choose to allow everything to play out exactly how it does, and to know that whatever that is, is okay and means nothing about me.
my thinking led me to frustration and by changing my thinking, i feel a sense of calm, peace, love, and confidence.
so, it is possible to invest in something without developing a desire for a particular outcome, and not experience frustration or dissappointment.
it requires a little work, but it can be done. i just need to remember that i am not responsible for the outcome, and that the outcome says/means nothing about me. i will be okay regardless of the outcome. and the other person is experiencing whatever they need to in their journey through this life.
the stock ticker
previously:
weather or not - 2006-03-07
My Flight - 2006-03-02
poetree in motion - 2006-02-28
ultimate personality test - 2006-02-25
limerick e-trip - 2006-02-22