this morning i arrived to work to find a fax had come in at 7:06am. unusual? perhaps the timing.
it was not your typical fax with your typical cover letter indicating To: [enter real employee name here] and From: [enter legitimate company name here].
instead... it was a market watching fax "Providing Investor's about Today's Emerging Companies".
is it me or does that headline-majig not make sense? i mean, providing investors WHAT about today's emerging companies? and why is the first letter of each word in caps? is this their tag line?
main headline of the fax:
other fax facts:
there are at least 10 "headlines", most sentences end with two exclamation points, half the paragraphs are underlined or in bold, there is some poor grammar that even i can identify, and nothing said has even remotely come close to convincing me that this is a "STRONG BUY" as indicated by the fax.
i think i was just accused of cheating on the company from which we order toner. here's the conversation:
HARRY: "im calling to see if you need any toner"
ME: "no, we're all set right now"
HARRY: "you dont need no toner?" (note the double negative)
ME: "thats right"
HARRY: "so, you're using another company?"
ME: "no, we just have a lot of toner"
HARRY: "well, you havent ordered with us in a year"
ME: "well, we have several containers of toner for each machine, all of which we purchased recycled from your company"
HARRY: "oh, okay. im just checking up"
thanks harry. but you check up every month. and every month we still have several boxes of YOUR toner sitting in our supply room.
im not a cheater, harry. and i dont like no double negatives.
twice this week ive heard a guy on a bicycle riding by with a bullhorn exclaiming "jesus christ is lord".
oddly, this is the only part ive heard in his rantings on both days since the mysterious bike-preacher goes by so quickly.
i think i spent half my day hole punching. you'd think i would get bored, but really, there is a lot to think about while punching holes.
here was my train of thought...
omg, the hole punch is stuck! shit, what if i cant get the paper out? okay okay, just keep jiggling the paper. when was the last time that one hole cutter was replaced? i should ask. huh, i wonder if the other cutters need replacing. would it help?
omg, i hope this isnt bothering SL. all this click click and banging the damn thing on the counter. no, she'd probably say something. maybe i should ask her if she wants her door closed. shit! i hate this fucker! god damn it, come out!
maybe if i empty the confetti tray... shit, confetti everywhere! aaarg. okay... it annoys me how the holes dont seem to match perfectly with the binder rings. i mean, its only a tiny bit off, but then it makes the paper get all bendy and hard to move back and forth. maybe its the binder. wait, all the binders cant be messed up. it must be the hole puncher.
i wonder how many pieces of paper i could punch with this thing? at least 20, but could i do this whole stack right here? shit! that was stupid. why did i do that. maybe if i slam this fucker on the table... shit! SL is gonna get annoyed for sure now. stupid hole puncher!
previously:
weather or not - 2006-03-07
My Flight - 2006-03-02
poetree in motion - 2006-02-28
ultimate personality test - 2006-02-25
limerick e-trip - 2006-02-22