i must attend meditation tonight. it may be my only salvation from the stress that is causing my body to pull in, shortening the tendons and muscles all over me. arg.
meanwhile, im downloading cds onto my mac in preparation for my trip to seattle. which of course, is the source of my stress. not seattle in and of itself, but the trip.
money is tight at this very moment for 100 reasons - im working at the office less and wont be working the two weeks im in seattle, my subletter pooped out on me and i had to pay august rent at the fratty plus my mortgage, there were lots of birthdays and meals out this month, and i went over my cell minutes for the second month in a row. thats a big bunch of bucks to go out all at once.
of course, a money positive that i dont want to overlook is that im debt free (except my final student loan). LOM is refinancing the condo and im giving her my half in exchange for a small sum of money to pay off my loan for life coach training. i feel bad that i kind of wish for a little more... but thats another entry all together.
the other seattle-related stressor is that i talked to my mom the other day and she was in a bad mood b/c my brother was acting out. she was allowing his behavior to impact her. why does this stress me out? because i love them all. and there is nothing i can do to make life easier for them. and i wish my mom knew how to detach and not let other people impact her so much. but its hard to teach someone to do something they havent asked to learn without sounding preachy.
its funny b/c all of a sudden im feeling like my life in boston is too complicated. i think this is in part due to the money thing. i feel slightly overwhelmed and really need to refocus and recenter. i know that once the magazine with my advertizement hits the stands in september im going to be flooded with clients. its going to be perfect and everything happens for a reason. for example, perhaps having no expendable income during my seattle trip is intended so that i must stay put and relax rather than bustling around to here and there and trying to entertain people. what i really want to do is spend time with my mom.
previously:
weather or not - 2006-03-07
My Flight - 2006-03-02
poetree in motion - 2006-02-28
ultimate personality test - 2006-02-25
limerick e-trip - 2006-02-22