my new middle name is nausea. and thats not an easy middle name to have - its hard to spell!
when i was in elementary and middle school, in order to spell my middle name correctly without getting stuck and confused, i had to spell it super quickly. thats probably not going to work with this new middle name since i have to look it up every time i spell it, but perhaps eventually.
meanwhile, it seems like waking up, getting up, eating, going places, doing things, and even just sitting here all make me nauseous (had to look that up too).
i know what YOU'RE thinking. and no, its a super-duper-ultra-slim chance that any nausea in my life would have anything to do with babies. and if it did, it would be a true miracle from God. seriously.
so, im thinking its got to be that ive finally gone off paxil. i had reduced to 5mg some time back, and just a couple weeks ago reduced to 2.5mg, and a few days ago stopped completely.
overall, i think its improved my disposition somewhat. i mean, sure i cry at the drop of a hat (btw, i cant tell you how much ive been crying about sassers recent loss). and sometimes i go a bit mad with laughter and do things like lick faces (usually only db's face). but really, i am feeling things. emotions. and nausea.
according to quitpaxil.org nausea is a withdrawl symptom of paxil. and im noticing several dozen other symptoms on the list which i have been experiencing at varying levels since i started the tapering in August. thank god, i didnt go cold turkey off the damn stuff or id be in serious agony.
other symptoms im currently experiencing include:
- insomnia
- extraordinarily vivid dreams
-memory and concentration problems
- severe mood swings, esp. heightened irritability / anger.
- an unconventional dizziness
- headaches
- profuse sweating, esp. at night
- breaking out in tears.
- hypersensitivity to motion, sounds, smells.
- decreased appetite
- nausea
things im not currently experiencing but are included as withdrawl symptoms:
- intense insomnia
- extreme confusion during waking hours
- intense fear of losing your sanity
-steady feeling of existing outside of reality as you know it (referred to as depersonalization at times)
- Panic Attacks (even if you never had one before)
- suicidal thoughts (in extreme cases)
- an unconventional dizziness/ vertigo
- the feeling of shocks, similar to mild electric one, running the length of your body
- an unsteady gait
- slurred speech
- muscle cramps
- blurred vision
- abdominal cramping, diarrhea
- chills/ hot flashes
i really should write about my dreams more. you'd get a serious kick out of them b/c they are so completely bizarre and epic. a great example of this was the other morning db said he had a crazy dream and i asked what about. he said he "was a soccer player." seemed normal enough to me considering my dream that night - office buildings that walked, moved via conveyer belts, and disassembled and reassembled themselves, all moving back and forth across boston's bay covered by rebar.
previously:
weather or not - 2006-03-07
My Flight - 2006-03-02
poetree in motion - 2006-02-28
ultimate personality test - 2006-02-25
limerick e-trip - 2006-02-22